Every sex-positive venue runs on the same small set of rules. They are rarely posted on the wall because everyone already knows them — which is exactly why newcomers break them.
The rules that are actually enforced
Ask before you touch. Every time, every person. There is no situation in which proximity, clothing, or someone’s presence in a play area constitutes permission. This is the rule the whole place rests on.
No means no, immediately and without discussion. No sulking, no asking why, no trying again later in the night. Regulars notice people who push, and staff hear about it.
No photography, ever. Phones away, cameras away, no exceptions, not even of your own group, not even in the smoking area. People’s jobs and families depend on this. It is the fastest way to be permanently banned.
Do not talk about who you saw. What happens in the venue does not leave it. Recognising a colleague and saying nothing, then and afterwards, is the standard.
Watching is fine. Looming is not. Most venues allow spectating at a respectful distance. Getting close, blocking a walkway, or making a couple feel surrounded is not spectating.
Clean up. Wipe down furniture after use. Bin your own condoms and wipes. Nobody should have to deal with what you left.
The subtler ones
Read the room’s energy before joining it. A busy dancefloor and a quiet play room have different registers. Bring the wrong one and you will feel it.
Do not negotiate for someone else. If you are with a partner, each person speaks for themselves. Speaking on your partner’s behalf reads badly to everyone watching.
Take rejection quietly and move on. The recovery is what people judge, not the ask.
Tip the bar and be pleasant to staff. In venues this size the staff and the door team talk to each other, and they remember.
If something goes wrong
Tell a staff member. Every properly run venue has people whose specific job is handling this, they take it seriously, and they would far rather hear about it than not. You will not be told you are overreacting.
If you see someone else being pushed past a no, saying something is welcome — a simple “are you okay?” to the person, or a word to staff. This is a community that polices itself, and that is why it works.
The underlying principle
Everything above reduces to one thing: everyone here is a person, not an opportunity. People who hold that in mind rarely get anything else wrong.